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Wednesday 18 May 2011

...is a fake anorexic

Firstly let me clarify, Jane* is not anorexic. My mum worked in an institution for girls suffering anorexia and drilled into my head that it is a serve illness. Those girls who could hardly stand looking at their reflections were sick. Jane is not.

What Jane is, is a certain type of Attention Seeker I like to categorise as being a Black Hole. She is constantly in need of being the epicentre of attention - and selfishly sucks everyone to her by any means. And saying she doesn’t eat – which is a massive difference than actually not eating – is just her latest method of this.

Recently (after her "stalker" ordeal ended) Jane has started becoming vocal about her weight issues. The size 10 Jane complains constantly to be fat - she is not. It is also not a case of Body Dysphoria - please let me express that - Jane just needs to be THAT girl; the Queen Bee, the It-girl, the Sun everyone orbits. It’s who she is.

I'm sure that everyone must know/have known someone like this, who constantly searches for empathy (albeit false) and fashions up stories and such when she is not receiving it. Do I think she does this intentionally? Yes and No.

An example? Jane proclaimed that she had only eaten a slice of toast that morning, and that was all she planned to eat that day. I explained that form of “dieting” didn't work but Jane knows best, of course.

This annoyed me two fold. Firstly I think that anyone faking an illness as complex as anorexia makes the whole issue degrading and takes away its severity. Secondly four years ago I was calorie counting obsessively myself so understand what a slippery slope that can become.

So I rarely bother taking her on when Jane starts talking about this. Mood depending, I will range from nodding once and changing the subject, giving a simple reply of "oh, be careful then" to just walking away. I've found that if you want to keep the friendship (or if you have to keep the peace) then the best way is to not fuss over such things.

When I was younger my sister had a friend who was exactly the same way. She would constantly complain of being "fat" and as everyone else gushed over her ribs that protruded from her chest, I merely agreed with her. Bad form I know, but since all she would do was sulk I learnt that not giving false sympathy is better for MY mental health. There are a lot of people that need my empathy, sympathy and pity and I plan to give them it all when needed.

My advice would be not to get into it. As I understand, a real person suffering from anorexia doesn't vocalise it so much, aren’t seen drinking Mountain Dew at 120cal per can or snacking on crisps and chocolate. People with Body Dysphoria don't carry around large make up bags and gush over their reflections all day and don’t wear revealing dresses on nights out.

I cannot change Jane – or slap her across the face – but I can take pride in how I can hold my tongue and nod along. I am going to monitor her eating patterns of course, be ready to act if she starts actually starving herself, but other than that (and ranting on here) I will just have to wait until she discovers another venue for us to get sucked into.

Nikki

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know a girl like this.... she has had every illness possible from cancer to anorexia, but she's in fact just an attention seeker,,,, that's so insulting to everyone suffering http://stephanie-van-rijn.deviantart.com/journal/My-battle-350509275

Anonymous said...

I agree with above. I know someone like this to. I agree it is insulting to those who suffer! Well said!

Anonymous said...

hey i knnow that girl! http://imgur.com/TPyOy9u

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