...is a make up artist #2

Another couple of photoshoots are done, one is part of the seven deadly sin theme and the other was part of her exam.

The first was done on top of a very large hill, and a very popular spot for the local hikers and dog walkers - and she had afro-ed my hair. Lovely.

Second was done at the studio and took hours and hours to do. Very tiring for me who just had to sit there all day. But I think the finished product looks awesome.

Please tell me what you think!!

SEVEN SIN PHOTOSHOOT #3

 Getting in touch with my wild side

 America's Next Top Model pose

Ira (wrath)

Inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger

MAKE UP EXAM: THEME UNDER THE WATER

In process 

 There's something Fishy going on here

Evil Siren/Mermaid princess

Like I said, please tell me what you think

...is in an on again off again relationship

Is Facebook Relationship Statuses Important in a Relationship?

Often something discussed with my girlfriends, who as women automatically believe that proclaiming to the world of  Facebook that you are in a relationship signifies that you are in said relationship. 

When I log onto my Facebook page automatically I am plagued with people telling me that they are in/now not in a relationship - or at least I was until I culled my friend list. For me, standing in the centre of a solar system of rocky friends, I believe that - at least some times - telling everyone you are now in a relationship - moments after getting into the relationship - is bragging.

And what for? I myself do not have "relationship status" on my Facebook profile for two reasons. Firstly - privacy as nowadays criminals could use Facebook to fake your identity and secondly: the only two people who should care are the two people in the relationship...okay and maybe the friends you see and family. 

However, recently my darling friend Beth* has been having problems with this tiny little thing. Beth is in the - classic on/off then on/off relationship...and though her relationship has no foundations for general upkeep she is somewhat blindly determined that he is the one. And he could be - who am I to say??

Anyway several weeks ago, after having "singled" herself in the Facebook world several months ago, Beth A: re-got back with him and B: put "in a relationship" as her status.

Harmless I believe - she's done a lot for him these last couple of months ... yet Mr On/off has yet to deal with his end of the bargain. Three weeks later he dishes out two excuses A: "I've not been on Facebook" - except all the status updates and B:  "but none of my friends know we're back together because it never came up..."

So, whilst hurt and somewhat pissed off Beth is left wondering what the hell is wrong here. It's a simple click, right? So it should take two seconds and he has nothing to be ashamed of. He broke up with her then begged her come back so you'd think he'd be a little more perky on the subject.

And I am left wondering what it does mean in the grand scale of things. Does FB suddenly make things official, from simple dates and fun to something real or it is just another volcano that we don't need in our lives?

Debatable...

Nikki

...just found out her boyfriend has cancer #2

Help, I've been Quarantined!

So, I’ve been banned from visiting or seeing Louise for a while. Or, more precisely, I have self-decided to quarantine myself from her as I have been struck down with a flimsy common cold. And it sucks.

We had so many things planned for this week as it is Week One of Jackson’s three weeks out of hospital regime. Week one is usually spent in bed, too exhausted from his chemo to move. Followed my Week Two and Week Three where he is more able and willing to do things.

But, and admittedly I did not know this, but people undergoing chemotherapy have no immune system and thus cannot risk getting sick, even a slight cold. It makes sense of course, in a “if I had actually thought about it then yeah obviously” kind of way. So it means that I had to cancel all our plans to stop Louise catching it and then passing it on.

This makes me unhappy and a wee bit nervous. I have thus realised I know absolutely nothing about cancer and its treatments - or about colds and theirs. It's not severe, more like a slight irritation in the throat, but how long am I going to be infectable for?

So my week is to be spent researching the answers, miserable that I have a new game I cannot play [waiting for Louise] and a million things we have to put on hold until we're both free. If anything it makes me realise just how significant all these insignificant things in life actually are.

If anyone knows anything about this, advice would be well appreciated.

Nikki

...has gone backpacking to Malaysia!

As we speak my closest college friend is on a plane for an exciting three-month travelling saga of Malaysia. Yes I am wholly jealous.

I think about my life and how it isn’t how I intended it to be right now. I am happy – more or less – and surround myself with all these amazing people yet… it is just not how I envisioned what the year 2011 would do for me.

Last year I planned and planned to go to Japan for a year to teach English. Got my certificates and whatnot yet was always being held back via friendship commitments. Firstly a high school friend asked me to be Maid of Honour at her wedding, then another friend told me to attend hers and everything snowballed into me sticking around.

“I’ll go this year” was what I concluded and then BAM: best friend’s boyfriend had cancer, another broke up with her love and once again everything seems to be snowballing me down a cliff face to a pit I’ll not be able to crawl out of till next year.

And so, as Emma is enjoying being spontaneous and creating such amazing memories, I’m left behind and it’s okay. I’m needed right now – as I was last year and maybe next year. My friends ARE my world, and venturing so far from them would be like a shepherd leaving his much loved flock. 

One day I will be gallivanting somewhere glamorous, and in the mean time – I wish Emma and Peri an amazing, safe and successful journey. I will miss you!

[If you want to follow Emma and Peri’s adventure they have blogged it: http://periandemma.wordpress.com ]

...wants to start up an affair

I pride myself in having a lot of different friends with different tastes, values and ambitions. As a writer I find this healthy and filled with much more experience than sticking to the same old. However there is one little flaw this situation has: I am only ever going to be my age, and those younger are always going to be lagging behind in "maturity" as those older with have gained more experience than what I have right now.

And, possibly in some blind trying to pretend-its-not-happening way, I have put down Ian's* slightly weird obsession with me as him being young. What I continue to not understand is Ian has a girlfriend - a beautiful, smart and as far as I know nice girlfriend whom he has been with for a couple of years.

They seem perfectly happy together, yet on occasions I get a text or a Facebook message that I am increasingly having hard to put as joking. What is the fascination with me? It is because I'm older? The opposite from his girlfriend or that it is just teenage hormones that are driving him to act like this?

I have no idea. Nor am I ever going to start up this fantasy affair his has concocted. The most effective method I discovered to deal is to pretend to be innocent and fairly stupid about what he says. Mainly I act like I have no idea what he is impling: with a sprinkle of literalism when I can for added effect. When he asks me "wa u up 2" (and yes he does ask it like that) I firstly tell him that I canny understand such gibberish for time to make up scenarios such as visiting family, doing work, going to sleep as I've been ill... I guess it helps to have a vivid imagination for these excuses and I have enough to write a book!

And all I can do is hope he gets over this hormonal imbalance, because my god it is annoying! To all men out there who doesn't know this already: sometimes girls like having you as just a friend - especially when you have a quite amazing girlfriend already!

...is a makeup artist

If you like being made up then you are probably thinking that having a budding makeup artist as a friend is the best thing ever. And I wont lie to you: yes it is. It means I can phone her up going: "but I have a date tonight and want to look pretttttttty" and I can forget wholly about what I'd look like and more on the nervousness because Cole is amazing at what she does.

However that comes at a heavy price. One that involves me frolicking through a nearby woodland during a freezing day in March with no shoes on and prancing around a bedroom in underwear because she needed a model for her website portfolio.

And it gets better: this month she is affro-ing my hair, applying gills to my face and expects me to show my angry side in front of a lot more dog-walkers and hikers. But we have a secret pact that involves me being her model for her reading my book. And hell, I love the finished product!

Anyway I have published two pictures. Her theme is the seven sins in high fashion. Can you guess which ones they are? =D

Acedia (sloth):

State of being physically and emotionally inactive and uncaring about oneself.

Luxuria (lust):

excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature.

...just found out her boyfriend has Cancer

In my life there have only ever been two friends that I have both admired and envied simultaneously. Both hold an incredible strength that I doubt I could ever achieve. I could never face such hardship with a chin raised so high and think the are both utterly amazing people. True inspiration to anyone.

The first one is Hannah* who last year saw her husband of SIX WEEKS die in a horrific crash where a lorry driver ploughed into their car. Hannah not only had to make the decision to turn off his life support but also had to deal with being freshly pregnant and raising a one year old daughter.

The next friend is Louise*, who told me two months ago that her on/off boyfriend of four years had cancer. And as she faces a year of driving him to hospital appointments, taking him to chemo and working long hours then spending the rest of her time taking care of him; I am faced with the utter hopelessness of being just a friend of a friend.


Me and Jackson* are not friends. I do not approve for reasons I will not get into, yet never would I have wished this hell upon him nor anyone else. But I have to delve into the reality where I very rarely see Louise, rarer still go on our regular nights out or crazy back packing adventures. Understandable but still a little difficult to get used to.

Overall, as Louise has put her entire life on hold – in a way so have I. Back in January we had a lot of plans for the upcoming year: get a house together, go travelling, visit Rome and other European places and set up a small but hugely successful business etc etc etc…

And as frustration flushes through me, it is immediately followed by guilt and leaves me wondering what I'm meant to feel. I’m no relation to Jackson - I haven’t seen him for nearly a year because of our clashing personalities. But that doesn’t mean I don't worry about him. I do. Constantly.

But I also worry for Louise. At 23 can she handle this planetary burden? How can I explain without hurting her feelings that she needs to think about herself too? At this moment in time she is sacrificing her whole future because she hasn't  been studying her last weeks in school...

I want to help. Of course helping would be either curing cancer - which I am not smart enough for, giving them money to cope with their financial hardships - which I am not rich enough for, or just being right here, ready when she needs to talk. 

I told her the day she told me, a simple statement that sees me (and hopefully her through). 

"You have to be his walking stick, that constant stronghold that is there whenever he reaches for assistance. But I promise you, from this moment on - I will be yours"

And I mean it.

Nikki